Anger can be a lethal force at the workplace, undermining atmosphere, productivity and workplace relaitonships. Based upon her new book, The Anger Diet, Dr. Shoshanna provides five essential steps to take to balance workplace relationships and allow you to easily turn negative feelings into constructive workplace behavior.
Tip 1: Realize that anger is a choice you makeAnger is not a form of power, strength or control. It is a toxin that affects all aspects of your life.
It narrows focus, creates confusion and blocks creative solutions. When anger arises, stop, breathe deeply, and immediately look at the larger perspective. Put the incident in context. For a moment, allow the other person to be “right”. Tell yourself you have plenty of time to be right later. Your main goal is to have the anger subside so you can see clearly.
Tip 2: Become aware of the 24 forms of angerAnger camouflages itself and finds many covert ways of manifesting. Unrecognized anger turns into all kinds of unwanted behavior. Some of the 24 forms of anger are: depression, passive aggressive behavior, compulsions, perfectionism, gossiping and certain kinds of competition at the workplace. When you realize that these are being fuelled by anger, you can take appropriate steps to handle them.
Tip 3: Envision A Balanced WorkplaceRelationship Balancing is the natural flow of energy, support and inspiration between individuals. When the flow is blocked or out of balance, individuals become depressed, apathetic, resentful, impeding success at work. When one feels needed and acknowledged, there is no end to their ability to tap their full potential. Envision a balanced workplace. Write down your vision and notice how it compares to the reality of your particular situation. This initial step provides a new focus.
Tip 4: Discover Your Relationship Balancing QuotientList each individual you interact with. Score each person on the following questions from 1-10. a)I feel at ease with this person. b)I trust this person. c)I communicate naturally with this person. d) I understand what they’re communicating to me. e) I am able to ask this person for what I want from them. f)I am able to give this person what they want from me. Assess exactly what is going on and what you want from each relationship. Separate your needs and wants. Make necessary adjustments to get this relationship back on track.
Tip 5: Balancing Your Workplace RelationshipsThese few points help a great deal in melting anger: Stop casting blame. By blaming others you are disempowering yourself. See the situation through your opponent’s eyes. Blame dissolves on the spot. Let go of resentments. Resentment inevitably affects our well-being and always bounces back. Look for and find what is positive in that individual. Focus on that. Create realistic expectations. Let go of unrealistic fantasies. See what the person is truly giving to you. Be grateful for that. Remember, the best defense against being hurt is to feel good about yourself and the way a person responds to you says more about them, than about you.
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