This article is about the benefits and pitfalls of using support relationships and support groups when trying to quit smoking or some other dependency. It addresses the dependency issue and gives encouragements and warnings about the use of support in relationship to it.
It is a statistical fact that people who are trying to quit smoking who get support actually have a higher success rate, therefore getting support as one means to help quit smoking is something that comes highly recommend. Back in the days when I was struggling to overcome my own issues, I did seek out support groups as part of my strategy for getting the help I needed. During this time, I had made some objective observations about support relationships and groups that concerned me. Since you may be interested in support relationships or groups to help you quit smoking, I would like to share my concerns with you.
I would like to say up front that I am very much in favor of support relationships. All of us need to have other people in our lives who are able to understand us; someone that we can talk to and share our problems and experiences with. Everyone needs support, fellowship and love. A support group can be a great source for developing these types of relationships and also for learning new solutions from a broader range of sources.
The way that support groups and other support relationships are sometimes used is a concern that I would like to share with you. My concern, is that sometimes people use support groups and relationships in a co-dependent way. In other words, it becomes one more thing to become dependent on; a type of dependency that is not healthy. It becomes a new dependency and this usually happens unconsciously. What they actually end up doing is replacing one dependency with another; the smoking for the relationship or group.
I would encourage anyone to have supporters in their life but I also suggest that they pay close attention and note whether their supporters are encouraging and supporting them towards success or are they actually helping to create a co-dependency relationship or group that is a substitute dependency. And even more, I suggest that the individual pay very close attention, on a very conscious level, at what is driving him/her to be attached to the person or group so that they can notice if they are developing a substitute dependency. I would like for people to really be free. So plunge on and I am sure you will surround yourself with the right people for you. With the right mindset and the right supporters surrounding you, I am sure you will succeed in pursuit to stop smoking.
The key to preventing this new replacement dependency is self-awareness. It is necessary to commit to constant self-observation. Be aware of what you are feeling and thinking at all times. By doing this you will not be driven unconsciously and functioning just by instinct. You will be able to tell whether or not you are being driven by the dependency. If you are, then the best thing you can do for yourself is to find the things that edify you in your spirit. Find ways to be intimate with people at the spirit level (your spirit). This is where the pain and need exists. A dependency, at its core, is a problem in the persons spirit and this is where the healing needs to take place. This, of course, is after you have gotten past the physical phase of nicotine withdrawal. My encouragement for you is this; to become dependent on other people’s love, not their stimulation.
Quit Smoking, Support Groups, Support Relationships