These days, inter-racial relationships are not as uncommon as they once were. Even if yous is a committed relationship, such as marriage, some of your neighbors may not be open-minded enough to accept it. Learn what to expect in an inter-racial relationship and know how to cope with any difficulties that might arise.
These days, inter-racial relationships are not as uncommon as they once were.
In fact, in most cases, race is not even a major deciding factor when singles are looking for dates. Unfortunately, however, every town or city has a few residents who believe this kind of relationship is wrong or unnatural.
Even if yous is a committed relationship, such as marriage, some of your neighbors may not be open-minded enough to accept it.
You may have been prepared for that when you started dating, and in all honesty, most of the time it simply takes some thick skin to ignore nasty looks or comments.
Although you make be comfortable with your situation, don’t forget that you and your partner have someone else to consider as wellyour children. Being part of an inter-racial family is something your children did not choose, and you may need to provide extra support to help them understand their family situation.
1) A Public Affair
Picture this: You’re walking in the grocery store with your child, who has a considerably different skin tone than you. Just as you’re getting your eggs, an old high school friend, one you haven’t seen since graduation, approaches you.
Happily, the two of you chat for awhile, and then he asks you whose child you’re baby-sitting.
Not only is this embarrassing for your friend, but it may be awkward for your child as well.
Going out in public together with only one parent, especially when that parent has significantly different looks, can cause a child to question his or her family situation as well.
It may be easy for you to smile and correct your friend, but it isn’t easy for your child to feel unembarrassed.
Prepare your child for these types of situations by holding family conferences from a young age.
In many cases, a young child may not even realize that he or she is part of an inter-racial family.
Start slowly, but explain how this difference makes your relationship special. By preparing for public situations, you can help your child feel more comfortable.
2) Beating the Bullies
You know as well as I do how harsh kids can be. With a mommy and daddy who have different skin colors, your child could be susceptible to teasing or bullying at school or on the playground.
Be sure to discuss how to handle this issue with your partner. Some neighborhoods in inner-city areas may not be a safe place to raise a child of mixed ethnicity.
When you start an inter-racial relationship, make sure you are aware of your surroundings and move to a more amicable neighborhood if necessary.
Bringing children into the mix heightens the need for a safe neighborhood.
Make sure that your son or daughter is not an easy target for hate crimes by finding a community where differences like race are not as prominent.
Also be sure that your child is prepared for bullies. I recommend speaking to your child before he or she starts school no matter if race is an issue or not.
You and your partner should discuss how a bully should be handled, and if the situation gets to be too much for your child to deal with, consider changing schools.
Remember that adults can be bullies as well, so prepare your child for that. Bullies may even come from within your own family or the family or your spouse.
Be prepared as a family to handle extended family members who do not approve of inter-racial relationships or families.
3) Baby or Not?
Of course, in any relationship, you and your significant other should thoroughly discuss if you want children or not before you dive into bed together.
This is of the utmost importance when you are half of an inter-racial relationship.
Why? Simply put, as progressive as your boyfriend or girlfriend may be in regards to race, he or she still may not wish to bring a mixed-race child into the world.
If one partner wants a family and the other doesn’t, it will mean major problems for the relationship!
While there are a number of good reasons to avoid having a child with two very different heritages, it is important to remember that this type of situation can be very rewarding as well.
If you want the rest of the people in your community to look past race, you need to start with yourself.
Discuss the possibility of having a child with your partner early in the relationship so that you are both on the same page with one another’s wants and needs. Above all, that’s the most important thing in any relationship, whether it is inter-racial or not.